Building Resilience in Multicultural Kids

Welcome back to the Koi Wellness blog, your resource for child development and empowerment. I'm Aya Porté, your occupational therapist (OT) who is dedicated to nurturing your child's potential and supporting cross-cultural families. 

In my last article, I shared my own experience as I started a new role at Neurodiversity School in Tokyo (NSIT), and how we can take small, intentional steps to help ourselves—and our children—embrace the new with confidence and resilience.

Today, I want to explore a topic that’s very close to my heart—how multicultural, multilingual, and third-culture kids (TCKs) navigate their sense of identity, belonging, and communication in a complex world. We face unique challenges that can be hard to see from the outside, but with the right support, we can thrive across cultural environments.

"Where Are You From?" The Never-Ending Question

One of the questions I’ve been asked my entire life is: "Where are you from?" My answer—Tokyo, Japan—is almost always met with disbelief. I get it. With my light brown hair and fair skin, people have a hard time matching my appearance to my Japanese upbringing.

Growing up in Japan in the '90s and 2000s, the culture was far more homogenous than it is today, and I stood out like a sore thumb—or as the Japanese proverb says, “The nail that sticks out gets hammered down.” I spent my childhood caught between two identities: trying to blend in with my Japanese peers while also navigating life as an American living outside the U.S.

That question, "Where are you from?" followed me into adulthood, including my college years in the U.S. But by then, it didn’t bother me as much. I was focused on my studies and had learned how to live between cultures. Now, as an OT working with children who share similar experiences, I see these same challenges playing out in the lives of the children and families I work with.

Here are a few patterns I’ve noticed among the children I support—challenges that I experienced growing up and that continue to affect multicultural and third-culture kids today.

1. Identity: Who Am I, Really?

From a very young age, children are asking themselves: Who am I? This question becomes even more complicated for multicultural kids. They have to figure out who they are within multiple layers—family, friends, school, and society. There’s often a tension between expressing their authentic selves and the desire to fit in. Kids learn early on that blending in can feel safer than standing out, but this can create internal conflict.

2. Community and Belonging: Feeling Alone in a Crowd

Even with strong family support, these children often feel isolated. They may be surrounded by people who love and care for them, but the experience of living between cultures can make them feel like they don’t fully belong anywhere. This sense of "otherness" can make it harder to build deep friendships or feel connected within a larger community.

3. Communication: Speaking Between Worlds

Many of the children I work with speak at least two languages, often using a communication style known as translanguaging—switching seamlessly between languages within a single conversation. For example, a child might begin a sentence in Japanese and finish it in English.

This fluid communication is common among multilingual kids and plays a key role in bonding with peers. However, it can sometimes be discouraged by adults who expect children to stick to one language at a time. In reality, translanguaging is not just a practical tool—it’s a way for kids to express themselves fully and feel connected to their peers.

4. Privilege: A Double-Edged Sword

As a third-culture kid, I’ve always been aware of my privilege. Even at the age of five, I knew how my family’s social standing and resources set me apart from some of my peers. This awareness can be overwhelming for children, especially when they’re surrounded by peers who have varying levels of privilege. Understanding and navigating these differences remains a significant part of their development.

How Can We Help Our Children Adapt to Multiple Cultural Environments?

Communication is the key—but not just talking. As parents and caregivers, it’s about listening deeply. It’s easy to ask questions, but kids often won’t express what they’re feeling directly. As the philosopher Epictetus said: “We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”

When communicating with your child, listen not just to what they say, but also to what they don’t say. Pay attention to their body language, moods, and actions. Create safe spaces where they feel comfortable sharing their thoughts, even if those thoughts are difficult for them to express in words.

Conclusion: Building a Strong Support System

Helping your child adapt to multiple cultural environments requires patience, empathy, and intentional support. It’s also essential to ensure that the people who surround your child—teachers, therapists, and caregivers—truly understand and respect their unique experiences. Ask yourself:

• How does my child feel around this person?

• Have there been positive changes in their behavior or learning?

• What feedback do other parents share about this person’s impact?

By surrounding your child with supportive, understanding adults, you create an environment where they feel seen, heard, and empowered.

If you want more personalized support for you and your child’s development, feel free to schedule a callhere and connect with me onLinkedIn,​Instagram​, and ​Facebook. And if this article resonates with you, share it with fellow parents—together, we can lift each other up and help our children thrive!